Is It About You?

Photo by Jan Vernarec

How much of what’s going on around you actually has something to do with you? The trees blossoming, the delivery running late, the friend or colleague who welcomes in events in their lives and plays them on repeat in the privacy and comfort of their mind’s luxury gourmet cinema. If not much has anything to do with you, could it be that shifting your attention away from the present moment, from what’s immediately in front of you, is pretty much like binge-watching life events?

Television & Netflix were invented thousands of years ago within our minds. At first we gazed at the fire. Then we activated our autopilot on some life activities. And then, we’ve grown so comfortable allowing our mind & body to dictate our needs and wants, that the reality became too much to handle. It’s when we started to think that the sun won’t shine as bright, the grass won’t grow as fast and our friends won’t laugh as hard at our jokes unless we are ‘perfect’. Unless we protect our ego’s false sense of perfection. The reality no longer has endless possibilities, only grim possibilities. Can we change it? – yes! – but for that we need presence.

Life on earth isn’t about you, but your existence is your multidimensional presence that has attached to it your own personal expansion. Stop hiding, take control and experience life. Not with fear, but with trust. Not with anger, but with patience. With the hope that the life reflected in you will soon be as still and clear as a lake at dawn.

Believe in Yourself: More than Just a Myth

Photo by Jay Mantri 

Have you ever fantasized over someone who comes and recognizes your value and lifts above the crowd? That’s pretty much the typical hero – victim deadly duo. Being a hero means seeing people as needy, while being a victim implies waiting on someone else to take action for you. Self-belief has nothing to do with other people. It’s not about waiting around to save or be saved. It’s about being your best self, which is what any negative self-talk makes it impossible to achieve.

Get Positive Influences in Your Life

Photo by Olga O

Being selective with the people we let into our life it’s the first gift you can give to yourself. People making you feel small or needy will never evolve, and for that reason they will never allow you to grow. We are more mindful about the influences that children are exposed to than we are about our own circle of influence, but in reality we are just as vulnerable. Once we trust someone, we unfortunately can easily allow them to override our views.

Listening to Your Self-Defense Impulses

Photo by Annie Spratt

You don’t always have to wait for things to get out of hand, making it too late for you to apologize, before adjusting your behavior. Before anyone telling that you’re not honoring your best self, you’ll see signs that indicate your primitive instincts kicking in: becoming defensive, labeling people, thoughts or actions, self-pity, self-doubt. These are all signs of something new and scary/exciting. So why go through with actions that put you down and put yourself up for criticism when you can do yourself that favor? Be a fair critic and you’ll help prevent yourself from aiming down.

Surround Yourself with People Who See the Best in You

Thanks to Ariel Acosta

We are in charge of our lives and in control – to a certain degree – of how people perceive us. From makeup to body language, we can choose how we come across. There are also moments when we don’t feel what we display and that’s when what we hear from the people we trust makes a great difference. Do they remind us of what we strive to be, or do they belittle us and make us feel like screw-ups? It’s as simple as that when choosing our circle of friends.

Make a Start

Photo by Lucian Alexe

We’ve all heard the saying you got to start somewhere, to which I would add starting is better than overthinking where you start. Time spent not taking action is time wasted which might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but you’ll probably look back at the hesitation laughing at yourself. Nothing is permanent. You can only improve once you have something to work with.