There is great value in differentiating between who we are and what we do. ‘Sure, that’s obvious’ you might think.
First example that pops into my mind is:
‘I failed, therefor I’m a failure.’
Is that identity likely to come in handy at anytime in life? Is there a time when the world might run a Mx Failure Universe competition where we can attempt to drag ourselves out there, or even better, not show up at all and win?
And yet, we run this competition everyday. We hear one negative point about any aspect in life and we come up with two or three examples of the time when a car splashed us right before an important event. We add the empathetic ‘I know’ or ‘I understand’ or ‘This happens to me all the time’. Except that it doesn’t. For it to happen all the time we should have the ability not only to dry our clothes in less than a second, but to undo the initial experience so we can relive it. Otherwise it cannot happen more than once.
‘I failed, therefor I need to try harder. I’m an achiever’ – sets the trajectory straight.