I spent too much time obsessing over the motif of people to make a decision that impacted me. The process wasn’t ever helpful. Without any skills to understand the triggers of human behavior, I was stuck in a loop.
Why do people not keep their promises?
Why do I not follow through with everything I intend to do?
These are two very general questions that I was trying to answer broadly. Not just through a shared definition between the two, but between dozens of instances that seemed to have so much in common. Except that they don’t.
The power of generalization can be very misleading. I now understand that between different people and moments in time there are always strong particular motives. Look at yourself, today alone. You might have treated people in similar circumstances differently. Why is that?
Understanding a glimpse of your own intend will make the motives behind other people’s actions more obvious to you. Your perception will change and you’ll understand how impersonal some decisions that impacted you were and how little you could have done to prevent them from happening in the first place.
The one super-power you have is the control over how and how much you allow other people’s actions to get to you. And this decision sets your life on an entire new course every single time you make a decision. Motives are not within your control, the impact actions have on you, is.