I’ve recently noticed someone’s email signature having next to their phone number a ‘texts only’ notice.
The anxiety of who’s calling and why has to do with the culture of being always available. That leaves us vulnerable, lacking control over our own time. Texting is softer, but still quite intrusive.
you’re cooking dinner – someone messaged you – you drop everything – the food gets burnt
you’re walking on the street – message – you don’t look where you’re going – you get hit by a car
you’re in the park looking at the sky – message – you reply – a pigeon shits on you
We can’t tell people to text us or call us in a certain time interval. What can we do?
- Set aside time to check your phone – it can be three times a day of 20 minutes sessions
- Turn off notifications. The texts, missed calls, will all be there. Unless you’re a doctor or the president of the country. Then you might wanna get that.
- Take time to be on your phone out of *your own time*. Don’t make people – friends, kids, spouse – watch you while texting or speaking on the phone. If they’ve committed their time to you, be respectful of it.
- And finally, don’t expect things from people. Don’t expect them to always pick up. Not even your spouse. Expect from yourself that you can handle situations on your own without putting pressure on someone else.
In case you wonder, I did take my own advise and yes, I still have a support network. Controlling my phone time allows me to build more meaningful relationships and interactions in the present moment. It teaches me to work with what I’ve got and make the most out of it. Give it a go, you might surprise yourself.