At the end of the day, what is the one thing that helps you sleep well at nigh? Did you do what’s right? Did you go the extra mile? Have you powered through the day despite all likelihood of doing so?
Now that you’ve found something that makes you feel proud of yourself, try and think about the other part of the spectrum. How can you improve? What can you improve? Where do you feel like you’ve really let yourself down? Only you can change that. Start today.
Are you asking yourself questions that you never really had a chance to? Where am I headed, to what purpose, how am I getting there? Am I travelling a road that I picked?
By the time we grow mature enough to make a choice we often times allow others to make decisions for us. Are we going to study different degrees, get a steady job, follow paths that other people have traveled and have failed miserably.
They are the people thinking that just because their finances didn’t work out after 40+ years in a job, things will magically be different for their grown children. The people that then recognize the frustrations and limitations of 9-5 and shrug their shoulders. And when our life falls apart we can always look at our children and think ‘They have their whole life ahead of them’.
‘We can only learn from our mistakes’
If that was true, how come we can easily repeat not only the mistakes that we know other people have made, but – let’s face it, our own mistakes.
With the same principle in mind, we should be able to learn from different sources rather than through putting ourselves at risk unconsciously. I came across an YouTuber reaction to their videos from 10 years ago. There was no harsh criticism and I admired that, but when the 10 years younger self said ‘I’m so busy with school, I don’t have time to do more videos’, looking back they actually remembered people making fun of the videos at school. This allowed my own fear of failure to surface – all the ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘Why would anyone appreciate my work’. The little voice that whispers insecurities in a scripted loop.
Hearing another person’s experience about facing their own fears taught me more about pain and pleasure, the balance between what we perceive and what we allow others to project on us than any self-growth book. It sometimes takes unexpected triggers to help us address our fears and these triggers don’t always have to come from our lived experience.
Listen. There’s more going on than it meets the eye.
We worry about what people might think of us, what if we fail, what if we end up in a loss after making this decision? What if I’m not good enough? I know I worry about these things constantly and the fun bit is that this prevents be from even making a start.
Fear is paralyzing. It makes us think that we are good where we stand at the moment, even if we are tragically unhappy. We tell ourselves that this is what life looks life because we see so many examples of people around us walking dead through life.
The choice to take action is a choice that needs to be taken every single day. Is the choice of making a start. What people think is not relevant. Will you look back on your life 20 years from now thinking:
‘I’m proud of myself because I made people think that I am happy and successful. No one ever doubted it’
Or is it more likely to look back on your life with regret? Let that put things in perspective for you when the I’m not good enough thoughts creep in. You’re good enough and you can only improve from here onwards.
There are people sacrificing a lot to keep us all safe. Although it feels like most people’s lives are on pause, the people serving our communities are on 2-4x speed. To them, not getting Deliveroo isn’t the greatest worry. Having protecting equipment that allows them to do their job is.
Before moving on towards the weekend it is time to reflect on how our lives are no longer the same. Some of us are embracing panic, worry, agony – self-destruction, while others sink down into the silence. Where thoughts can no longer disturb us and we can be in gratitude for whatever life throws at us.
You know the little things that annoy you? The disagreements, family or company politics, doing things you don’t want to. Doing the dishes? All of them can go ahead by watching a video of people dancing and picturing myself on stage.
This is a great way to sugarcoat life and live it through what’s worth paying attention to – the things that make us vibrate with joy. What is your cure of unpleasantness? I’m sure you have many things that thrill you. Enjoy them. Don’t spend any more time on things that are hurtful. Indoors or outdoors, joy comes from within and is a state of mind.
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