We sometimes run scenarios in our mind of what we could have said differently and beat ourselves up about what we added to a conversation. It might come as a relief saying that how you express things, what emotions you convey, the tone of voice, facial expression, matter more than the choice of words.
The difference between ‘What did you say?’ and ‘WHAT DID YOU SAY?’ is quite obvious, and yet when trying to get a certain reaction we forget that working against people rather than with people cannot enable collaboration. Many relationships are damaged because of our people skills. It’s not our knowledge or our identity hurting people, but how we treat them, our attitude towards them, how we make them feel.
If you come from a place of sincerity, care and loyal interest, your words will be better received even when they’re criticism. Being calm and positive will not leave residue of guilt and pain as the opposite would.