Have you ever fantasized over someone who comes and recognizes your value and lifts above the crowd? That’s pretty much the typical hero – victim deadly duo. Being a hero means seeing people as needy, while being a victim implies waiting on someone else to take action for you. Self-belief has nothing to do with other people. It’s not about waiting around to save or be saved. It’s about being your best self, which is what any negative self-talk makes it impossible to achieve.
Being selective with the people we let into our life it’s the first gift you can give to yourself. People making you feel small or needy will never evolve, and for that reason they will never allow you to grow. We are more mindful about the influences that children are exposed to than we are about our own circle of influence, but in reality we are just as vulnerable. Once we trust someone, we unfortunately can easily allow them to override our views.
You don’t always have to wait for things to get out of hand, making it too late for you to apologize, before adjusting your behavior. Before anyone telling that you’re not honoring your best self, you’ll see signs that indicate your primitive instincts kicking in: becoming defensive, labeling people, thoughts or actions, self-pity, self-doubt. These are all signs of something new and scary/exciting. So why go through with actions that put you down and put yourself up for criticism when you can do yourself that favor? Be a fair critic and you’ll help prevent yourself from aiming down.
We are in charge of our lives and in control – to a certain degree – of how people perceive us. From makeup to body language, we can choose how we come across. There are also moments when we don’t feel what we display and that’s when what we hear from the people we trust makes a great difference. Do they remind us of what we strive to be, or do they belittle us and make us feel like screw-ups? It’s as simple as that when choosing our circle of friends.
We’ve all heard the saying you got to start somewhere, to which I would add starting is better than overthinking where you start. Time spent not taking action is time wasted which might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but you’ll probably look back at the hesitation laughing at yourself. Nothing is permanent. You can only improve once you have something to work with.