You only have control over your own actions, so why waste time and energy over things that can only impact them of you allow them to? Radically accept everyone around you. Accept their decisions, their stories, their views. Accepting is more helpful than fighting forces and attracting consequences. Acceptance allows you to go through life by focusing on what you can do better, and it all starts with accepting who you are now.
Have you ever planned for something and you stubbornly wanted that to be it? Plans are a starting point, just as a degree is only the beginning of life-long learning. Plans often lead to stronger ideas and more elaborated processes. It often is that a plan that we hatch and we think of as a masterpiece unleashes our potential. Our potential is unlimited and change is intrinsic to life. So plan today, review tomorrow and then implement it.
If you open your eyes in the morning thinking that today won’t matter you’re wrong. Every day in the right direction, being kind, supportive and genuinely helpful matters, even when you think that nothing is changing. There are the life’s events that make us think that when we can’t see activity nothing is happening. Progress happens even when you don’t receive appreciation. Those are the critical moments when you need to push forward, work harder and make all the invisible steps manifest into the results you are after.
Staying humble about what we think we know might sound unnatural and it definitely can be challenging, considering that we are spending our lives trying to prove ourselves from a young age, but it’s a must. Why? A flexible way of thinking allows us to welcome new information with an open mind. It helps us grow and it helps us adjust.
If you ever worked on a project and found it challenging to adjust to change or to update the plan, then you have an idea as to what the ‘always right’ mind is capable of. A beginner’s mind does the opposite. It allows us to receive new information assuming that the information we already hold might not be the truest representation of the current reality. Our mind has a tendency of staying stuck in the past. Accepting reality as ever-changing is a way of staying present. When we are open to learn, nothing will surprise us.
Regardless if we have children and young adults in our lives, molding people doesn’t stop with age. Walking into our first workplace, we all had to make adjustments. Maybe you were told that we laugh too laud, dress informal, speak too formal, or that your green hair doesn’t match the neutral tones of the office furniture and of the people that came with it. Or maybe you were made to feel aware of all these things.
There are situations in which people want to sculpt our identity and take away our confidence, pride, humor or just that little something that is so personal to us that it would mean taking away a big part of who we are. And they have the power of doing so, if we allow them.
How can we prevent identity loss? It takes introspection or self-reflection. The genuine nature of who we are will allow us to form honest relationships. That’s the part of who we are that we must preserve. We might be part of a group of people for a specific amount of time, but if we easily change who we are that will take away our ability to resonate with other people. Who will you resonate with if you are less of yourself and more of what others want you to be?
Does it take an instant to create change? Yes. That’s what the whole world will see. The former factory worker turned restaurant owner. The former waiter or waitress, now famous comedian. The single parent living off benefits, now successful entrepreneur. Will anyone know how much struggle, effort, discouragement and determination went into that? Chances are, not that many people.
The inner circle might see unanswered calls and missed celebrations. Skills that came naturally. Genetics that played a huge role or other types of ‘special’. Change is the definition of life and it can happen upwards or downwards. If you stop trying to maintain a flat curve, you’re missing out on the real progress you could be making. Having focus is just an excuse to learn and grow, but labels are fixed, they do not reflect the road in-between, only the end goal. So please, do, change. The world will have to bear with us.