Our Past Doesn’t Define Our Future

Photo by Dennis Ottink 

We find relief in thinking that who we are is a sum of circumstances that led to our birth and to our upbringing. The place we were born in, the family we were raised by, access to education and opportunities. Yet times and times again people around us prove quite the contrary: against comfortable upbringing, who had challenges in life have better chances to succeed.

Life as an adult or an independent human being boils down to one thing: can we manage ourselves without being told or expected to do something? Having initiative and intention leads the road to growth. If we’re collecting degrees that say what we should be able to do, but we don’t quite feel capable of doing it without constant validation, we have failed.

Putting our trust in others to tell us who we are at every point in life, from junior employee to CEO means that we can’t manage our life. People who lacked what society labels as direction in life through a comfortable upbringing learn early in life that we can grow our own skills and no one can take away our learning experience away from us.

Why Working Hard Isn’t Enough

Photo by Dino Reichmuth

We often feel entitled to receive recognition. Putting in an effort and hoping to be appreciated for it is natural, but expecting the feedback is detrimental. Effort leads to growth – we grow in understanding, mental performance, endurance, it helps our synapses link stronger bonds and it trains us for a longer active life.

What doesn’t happen as often is putting in a bit of extra effort as a one-off and expect a bucket of money to be poured over you. But we sure hope so. We ask for a 0.01% raise, put in some extra hours for extra pennies, get excited at the annual raise of 0.005% in recognition of our value. We allow what we don’t have to control our life and the way businesses are built, they take control over our needs by meeting them just enough to make it through the year.

Working hard and being delusional that you will get financial compensation in an industry or company that is not known for fair treatment is like getting into a relationship with a infertile partner and expecting children. It would take a miracle. Do you really have your whole life to wait for one? If you don’t, start working hard and smart and make your own miracle happen.