Getting Our Expectations Met

Photo by Zoltan Tasi 

Why can’t we seem to be able to overcome our conditioning? It may be our laziness, tendency of judging other people or our attitude towards money. We come into this world untouched by the world of ideas and biases, but by the time we realize that we can think for ourselves many of us agree to what has been fed to us. What we hear at an early age is limited by our exposure to people. We will most likely be around family and people in the community, maybe some mainstream tv that feeds the narrative of the masses. If you’re looking around you and you see people placed in different bodies with similar identities – it’s not an illusion, it’s what happens when we stop growing.

Being poor and staying poor is a puzzle that not many of us can understand. But the discourse of consumption is so dominant that it leaves no room for thinking that we can be on the producer’s side. What we ask of ourselves is what we get and for that reason, we need to be truthful to our dreams and expectations of ourselves.

Setting our expectations high will allow us to reach there. If we can’t see the finish line with our mind’s eye, we won’t get there. Meeting our expectations of ourselves means asking enough of ourselves to push us forward and to believe possible. But if we were kept in a state of passive living, it may take a big leap of believing in ourselves that will allow us to be pleasantly surprised by our unexplored potential.

Auncling and Parenting. The Middle Ground

True or False:

It’s easy for childless aunts and uncles to experience a burst of energy when they meet their piblings (nephews and nieces) and to maintain it throughout the day.

Discuss

True. It’s definitely easier than being there 24/7 and functioning at a high level.

False. It takes willpower and determination to have that presence.

Parents have to make sure that they keep the children alive and well and therefor they do all the tasks that relate to that. Auncles? Not so much.

The thing that fascinates me the most is that the society is built on the idea of having two people in the role of parenting, however the two people often overlap in worries and responsibility, being sleep deprived and lacking focus. There isn’t a balance of interchangeable roles of supplier and entertainer.

Being an entertainer is the most exciting part of the role. It deepens the connection, the love and understanding of the human that the cub is growing into. It’s a privilege that can be shared.

Say Yes to Adventure: Pick Up New Skills.

We tend to be hard on ourselves when we are thinking of embarking into a new adventure. By setting the expectations unrealistically high we build fear that results in pain. This feeling tells our brain that we need protecting. What happens next is procrastination, guilt and lack of self-respect.

Our brain will do anything to prevent us from (perceived) suffering and this includes keeping us away from our dreams.

How to Be Kind to Yourself & Follow Your Dreams

  1. Don’t let your mind to guide you once you’ve decided that it’s safe to try something new, maximize your level of curiosity instead.
  2. Allow yourself to learn the basics, master them and then build on them.
  3. Understand that learning the basics will take longer than building up the knowledge.

Being kind to yourself means appreciating your ability to learn new things and to expand your views. Appreciate how brave you are to break your routine and dare to live. Be curious, put yourself out there and give yourself time to get better and master the basics. Once that’s done you can only build up.