Tag: fail

Getting Started Is 80% of Getting the Work Done

Photo by Anthony Tran

Are you still thinking of what you have to do? Fantasizing? Wishing that you will wake up one day and find not only that the work is done, but that you did it without any effort and you are able to take pride in it? This is what a dream assassin looks like. Without action dreams fade away into the memory land, but not before impacting our self-esteem and joy of living.

If you spend most of your time ‘planning’ and ‘researching’ without getting your hands dirty, know that these are all excuses. Roll up your sleeves, follow leads, fail, get back on track. Succeed. You’re 20% left to succeed.

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The Reality of Sharing Ideas with the Inner Circle

Photo by Etienne Boulanger

If you’re passed that stage in your life when grownups look at you with empathy and tell you You can do whatever you set your mind to, you might feel like you need reassurance for every idea, big or small. But as we grow up and the reality of social norms and the expectations of fitting into the 9-5 pattern kick in, people who are emotionally invested might not be best fit to run by ideas.

You might be thinking – hang on a second, my mom, grandpa or loyal puppy have my best interest at heart. And although that might be the case, new avenues are always scary. Not just for ourselves, but for the people we care about (you can read more about limiting mindsets in the piece on How Much Can You Handle?). Being supportive of new ideas takes an openness that someone else’s judgement might also work. It also takes accepting that even if no one in the family or in the whole world dared to aim so high, that doesn’t mean that it cannot be done.

In the idea phase of a project, when our self-confidence is so fragile, why give an opportunity to nay sayers to deray us? What do we have to lose, ultimately? If it is time you are worried about, it will be time invested in learning. Money? Don’t invest what you can’t afford losing. Failure? You fail if you don’t learn anything from the experience and as a wise mind once said, if you don’t try, you fail by default.

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Taking in Other People’s Experiences

Photo by Toa Heftiba

‘We can only learn from our mistakes’

If that was true, how come we can easily repeat not only the mistakes that we know other people have made, but – let’s face it, our own mistakes.

With the same principle in mind, we should be able to learn from different sources rather than through putting ourselves at risk unconsciously. I came across an YouTuber reaction to their videos from 10 years ago. There was no harsh criticism and I admired that, but when the 10 years younger self said ‘I’m so busy with school, I don’t have time to do more videos’, looking back they actually remembered people making fun of the videos at school. This allowed my own fear of failure to surface – all the ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘Why would anyone appreciate my work’. The little voice that whispers insecurities in a scripted loop.

Hearing another person’s experience about facing their own fears taught me more about pain and pleasure, the balance between what we perceive and what we allow others to project on us than any self-growth book. It sometimes takes unexpected triggers to help us address our fears and these triggers don’t always have to come from our lived experience.

Listen. There’s more going on than it meets the eye.

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What It Takes to Be Wrong, to Fail, to Be Misunderstood

Differences and similarities with other people are not accurate forms of self-characterization. We seek allies and perhaps people to call enemies in attempts to understand ourselves. We reduce our world to the people that intersect it and allow them to reflect on us. We shrink into being.

*Be careful* *You might fall* *You might fail* *I told you so* *You’re wrong*

There are vast examples of how not to be wrong, not to fail or be misunderstood. They’re all values of the temple of fear that we worship. What does it take to be wrong, to fail or be misunderstood? Trying in the first place. But guess what? This is exactly what it takes to be right, succeed and be supported and it’s highly unlikely that the second will happen without the first.

As far as the awareness of our five senses informs us, we are beings of this life. We get this one chance to be who we want to be. Start building yourself up and don’t look around you for advise. Look ahead of you. People who made progress understand that skill sharing and shared life lessons are brings value to everyone to involved. Don’t worry about being wrong or failing or being misunderstood. Worry about being quiet, passive, ignorant. Progress happens in motion so start moving.

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The Fear of Failure

‘If you don’t try, you fail by default’.

Seth Godin

I wish we were more often asked to try new things than to ‘stay out of this one’. But wishful thinking doesn’t change who we are. Gaining awareness of this structural weakness in our personality can be the first step to make a change.

I’ve found it useful to make a list of what I will lose if I let myself beaten down by self-doubt.

Some things on my list that risk not happening if I hold back?

  • Becoming a self-published author
  • Being a business owner
  • Create an NGO that gives shelter and education to children all across the world
  • Being the partner & friend that I can be

And, of course, the feelings that would take over my life if I don’t try:

  • anger
  • failure
  • depression
  • weakness

That’s what I’m walking away from. What is your biggest nightmare?

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Guilty of Trying?

It’s quite interesting to listen to people’s regrets. Some are from the age of 20 or before. After having lived a few decades we seem to miss out an important part which is – – The Rest of Our Lives!

We somehow take our twenties for granted but the rest isn’t promised. It might have to do with a better understanding of how quickly circumstances can change. But if that’s the case, how come we choose to live comfortably and miserably?

The 100 Perspective

How much would you want to achieve if you would know that you can live up until the age of 100 years old? You could try something new more than once and then quit, or think ‘I’m too old for that’. You would give yourself the time not just to fail, but to actually succeed.

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