Listening to Your Self-Defense Impulses

Photo by Annie Spratt

You don’t always have to wait for things to get out of hand, making it too late for you to apologize, before adjusting your behavior. Before anyone telling that you’re not honoring your best self, you’ll see signs that indicate your primitive instincts kicking in: becoming defensive, labeling people, thoughts or actions, self-pity, self-doubt. These are all signs of something new and scary/exciting. So why go through with actions that put you down and put yourself up for criticism when you can do yourself that favor? Be a fair critic and you’ll help prevent yourself from aiming down.

Why Working Hard Isn’t Enough

Photo by Dino Reichmuth

We often feel entitled to receive recognition. Putting in an effort and hoping to be appreciated for it is natural, but expecting the feedback is detrimental. Effort leads to growth – we grow in understanding, mental performance, endurance, it helps our synapses link stronger bonds and it trains us for a longer active life.

What doesn’t happen as often is putting in a bit of extra effort as a one-off and expect a bucket of money to be poured over you. But we sure hope so. We ask for a 0.01% raise, put in some extra hours for extra pennies, get excited at the annual raise of 0.005% in recognition of our value. We allow what we don’t have to control our life and the way businesses are built, they take control over our needs by meeting them just enough to make it through the year.

Working hard and being delusional that you will get financial compensation in an industry or company that is not known for fair treatment is like getting into a relationship with a infertile partner and expecting children. It would take a miracle. Do you really have your whole life to wait for one? If you don’t, start working hard and smart and make your own miracle happen.