How Is Accountability Different from Criticism

Photo by Andrea Tummons

Accountability comes from a place of love. It shows understanding of one’s circumstances and it asks for transparency on both parts. The person being held accountable would have to perceive it as a positive intervention rather than criticism. The person who takes the power must use it with respect and kindness.

Why Not Self-Accountability?

Being able to set rules and implement them in your own life is a superpower. It takes practice and discipline and putting something on the line can add to the level of commitment. We can go quite soft on ourselves when we planned to get out of bed at 4AM and we need to face the cool air. Negotiating with ourselves in the moment is challenging – because winning in the short-term is not winning in the long-term.

Here is where an accountability partner comes in. Someone who we respect for their commitment and care, for their interest in seeing us improve. It can be someone you’ve met on a forum, the hotel reception or a good friend. People care about people and that’s something we can use to our advantage to practice self-care and self-discipline.

The Law of Attraction Is Based on Giving

Photo by Erol Ahmed

We attract what we believe and we also attract what we give.

There is order in any law and the law of attraction is no different. If we picture a bright future for ourselves and treat people poorly in the process, we might get where we want but the experience will not be a positive one. We won’t be making any friends with the I’m the most person on earth attitude and we all heard again and again that the ruler over infinite fortunes can be miserable.

When our own beliefs are at stake, do we reject new ideas, do we listen, process with an open mind and then make a choice? Or do we hide under the crust of superiority, pretending and hiding our imperfections? Do we give our best in the present moment for ourselves and others?

How to Get What You Want

Photo by Tobias Tullius

To get what you want you first have to believe that you are worthy of it and then you need to be brave enough to ask for it.

We all are generous people, but the truth is that we do things more easily when we see what’s in for us. If there is something that you want that needs to be facilitated by another person, think about the value their actions would bring to themselves – as a human being or as a company.

We are worthy of success and taking advantage of other people won’t create a better life for you. Be honest in what you want. Sometimes just being happier around people might be a great incentive for those around you to support you. If selfishness is not the only attribute guiding you, you will be surprised at the level of support you will receive.

Getting what you want is directly connected to adding value into the world. We are all in a search of meaning and when it comes to building meaning ourselves we first need to believe in ourselves.

Choose Kindness

Photo by kazuend

You know that time when you dismissed someone because of a lack of time or patience? It takes the same amount of time to be kind to someone as it does to be rude. Not to mention the roller-coaster of emotions and thoughts that follow each action.

Kindness brings peace while rudeness deepens the void within. There is a black whole were negative emotions live and the more we feed it the bigger it gets. Do we want to give and receive kindness or dwell in self-induced emotions.

Every action has a consequence even if we don’t see it immediately. Even if we think that the employee or child that we chose to treat poorly has no power over us, the higher balance does not know status or superiority mindsets. We are all equal in essence and the diversity of our abilities facilitates progress. Why would we waste any time on being anything but kind?

Give Yourself Time to Work Towards Your Goals

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo

We receive instant gratification fairly easily in the world we live – may it be through social media, new purchases that attract compliments, changes that we make on ourselves which are money dependent and so on.

Working towards a goal can be quite daunting particularly if you don’t have an audience to test it on and receive small words of encouragement. So it has to be something else that motivates you to push through. What I’ve discovered with my own work is receiving a feeling of progress being made.

It’s up to you how you decide to mark progress, but be kind to yourself in the process. A poor quality piece of work is progress. Is the intention and the action of working towards your goal. Having an initial draft or prototype is a major step forward. We find it easier to criticize existing work than to start something from the scratch. The start doesn’t have to be perfect. Remember, you are lying bricks that through persistence can gain shape and give shelter. But you have to start by having the raw materials first.

Gratitude: the Skill of All Skills

Photo by Marjorie Bertrand

What are three things that you are grateful for?

I remember being told ‘Don’t be ungrateful’ throughout my upbringing but I never really understood what it meant. It sounded more like a criticism than genuine advice and it probably was.

Gratitude is a concept that can be explained. When you think about all the processes that had to happen to give us rain, the inconvenience of having to carry an umbrella or getting ourselves wet diminishes. Gratitude overcomes annoyance.

The same principle can be applied to relationships, unless a relationship is toxic. In a healthy relationship, mild annoyances can be prevented by gratitude. It allows us to appreciate the other person more and to be more generous with our patience and kindness. Overall this adds up to being a better you.