Our brain loves holiday mood and it loves a good challenge. In our attempts to protect us from life, our parents might be removing any sources of stress from our life at a young age. And there, in the warmth of our family home, we feel safe, we feel confident and we feel loved. These feelings are not eternal, just as we can’t recreate those ‘perfect’ environment ever again. Adulthood comes with a wake-up call: it’s hard to be confident. But this statement doesn’t help us, doesn’t reveal how we can overcome the challenge. Confidence is brought by doing something uncomfortable every single day. And once you go back into holiday mode, just as those love handles reappear, self-confidence vanishes. Look at the level of confidence today to understand how much effort you’ve put in today in overcoming your boundaries.
Our thoughts create certain emotional states. You might think – it’s what happens that makes me feel happy or sad – but what happens is being taken on board by us and we usually have a reaction to it. This doesn’t mean that the reaction cannot be negative, but taking control and allowing ourselves to feel feelings that serve us well is important. Do you get any long-term benefits from lashing out, feeling anxious or sad? Do you get any benefits at all? Although we do have a wide range of emotions to play with, we don’t really have to explore the whole palette. Keep you emotions in check, choose what you feel.
I heard somewhere that it’s okay to not know, what matters is to know where you can find the information.
When it comes to our health, not knowing is still okay, but counting on other people to know when needed and allowing ourselves to be let down by systems and processes is not okay. Taking control of what we don’t know and looking at filling in the gaps of knowledge to serve ourselves and others is what really drives progress.
Seeing progress as a worldwide process without thinking that we can be a driving force minimizes our potential. People with degrees who are dropping in pre-defined roles and life templates are not failing themselves and others deliberately. The world seems to have settled into a long blink and when opening the eyes decades letter we realize that things have changed, that we have changes, but we allowed hierarchy to discipline us over natural progress.
Not knowing is okay and embracing the knowledge gap to drive progress is more than okay, is a necessity.
It’s easy to lose track of time and forget even what day of the week it is without a structure in place. A pleasant way of marking the uniqueness of each day while making it feel somewhat familiar is to create traditions.
When takeaway Fridays are no longer an option, traditions around home cooked meals and exercise can go a long way. Most of us are living life on a loop determined by external factors. Gaining independence through exploring our home environment can offer liberties we weren’t aware we can claim, such as finding time for loving words and old interests.
Getting back on track means readjusting to the current reality. Is us with the world, trying to stay well and help others keep well.
We don’t often have the opportunity to boil down our existence to three essential things that we need. Adversity offers such an opportunity. It’s a chance to revisit decisions made a while back, decisions that became part of our identity or worse, became our identity.
What matters in life? Is it family, money, love, recognition? The need to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good? Having a walk with a loved one? As life changes, so does what matters to everyone of us. Now for many people it’s important to feel safe and to be safe. What are you willing to sacrifice to make that happen?
The advice that no one wants is the one that we deliver regardless for selfish reasons. We have an opinion and we believe we should always have a say. While no one can take that away from us, having a say over putting the best interest of the other person first damages relationships.
In certain cultural being franc is interpreted as being honest. But no one wants brutal honesty 24/7. Sometimes we just want to go out and feeling good about ourselves. We want to have a friendly meal or party without fearing that what we do might get us the disapproval of the other person.
As someone who thought at some point that my opinion matters over other people’s feelings, here’s what I’ve learnt: what you think doesn’t matter as much as how someone is feeling. We can soften our edges and become easy to be around just by being nice to people. Is that really such a great price to pay?