If You’re Stressed, Worried or Annoyed, Something Has to Change

Photo by Jason Wong

Looking around us, we see enough examples of people who settle to live in a rhythm and emotional frequency that is not sustainable, nor is it healthy. Running from one place to another, wearing themselves off and doing little to grow strong, healthy relationships. To some, this may seem like the only way further. But knowing that stress and all the negative emotions are poisonous to our bodies must be enough to encourage change.

There are different ways to experience life, and choosing kindness, generosity and good intentions makes room for growth, while envy, selfishness and negativity is detrimental to the surroundings and to the host. It can be challenging at times to see hate and answer with love, but it’s the only way in which we can protect ourselves and others as much as we can. Through fairytales we learn that dark magic costs one’s soul. Why did we ever think that letting anger or sadness in would have a different result?

How Shouting Reflects on Us

Photo by Alexandra Novitskaya

The tone of voice gives away more than words do – it’s accountable for 55% of the meaning of the conversation. How come we are paying so little attention to it?

Just like spoken word was taught and learnt, voice inflections are the reflection of how the people we surround ourselves by speak. Shouting is one of the shocking uses of the voice that creates build up, negativity, anger. If we heard shouting rather than expressing emotions in an articulated way, we will likely think of that as normal behavior and perpetuate it.

Why stop shouting?

  • deal with your emotions in a controlled way
  • share your fears rather than anger-sharing words
  • heal instead of amplifying pain

Use your calm voice and life might get better bit by bit.

The Negativity Chain: How to Break It

Photo by Mario Purisic 

We live and act within negative and positive fields of energy. We carry both within us and we choose every second what to focus on. Each choice attracts more of the same. People who choose the positive over the negative don’t go into a time bubble with people alike though. We all mix in a smoothie of emotions. This means that we are all exposed to both energies.

How Do You Stop Perpetuating the Negative?

One thing is to not let it affect you, but what has an even greater influence is not letting a negative behavior burst over someone else. Don’t take it out on someone else. Don’t become the person who hurt you in the first place. Break the chain, be kind.

How to Avoid Anxiety-Provoking Online Interactions

Our attention is constantly engaged and social media can easily take a huge chunk out of it.

How to avoid other people’s negative influence?

  1. Just like in real life, be selective. Is now always easy to say no, but it does get easier with time, particularly when you realize how much more you can get from your time.
  2. Avoid the people with a negative mindset. This can happen on DM or while scrolling through the comments of a post you found inspiring. Chances are that you won’t change someone’s mind, but you might feel tension. This doesn’t work in your advantage.
  3. Turn off notifications. Allow yourself to be engaged in conversations when you’re up for it. People don’t just come over uninvited. Why would you allow them to do that through your device?

We all have our fair share of situations that we need to manage with love and grace. Preserve your energy for people you love or actually care about. Loving others is so much easier when you get love in return.

How Agreeable Are You?

Growing up as an outspoken child and often shh-shh-ed and told off for this characteristic, as most of us were, without an explanation whatsoever, set a great task ahead of me. The task to recover from timidity, to know when and dare to speak up about issues. This can take a lot of trial and error.

Not being easily agreeable enhances the creative flow. It’s challenging to second guess people that place themselves on top of a made-up hierarchy – teachers, parents, employers. When you start off a relationship with one of these people, you get to discover and learn new things. But the trajectory of learning is not linear. People who were ahead of us when we first started might lose their edge.

Challenging perceptions is not easy. It takes tact and elegance. Hating and challenging have different effects. One harvests destruction while the other enables growth. How we challenge people is just as important as speaking up and sometimes it takes a bit of empathy to cross rivers, build bridges and with that a new sense of reality.