We are in charge of our lives and in control – to a certain degree – of how people perceive us. From makeup to body language, we can choose how we come across. There are also moments when we don’t feel what we display and that’s when what we hear from the people we trust makes a great difference. Do they remind us of what we strive to be, or do they belittle us and make us feel like screw-ups? It’s as simple as that when choosing our circle of friends.
Learning new things is what keeps us alive, prosperous and happy. Is the alternative to boredom and moving sluggishly through life. Targeted learning creates opportunities to become the expert, the person that knows enough so that everyone in the room listens to them. And that can be intimidating at times, but sharing information and educating people is not about you, but about their progress and their journey.
We learn something new everyday, is what they say. It would be more accurate to say that we have the opportunity to learn everyday, what we do with it depends on our mindset. If we think that we know, the conversation ends before even getting started. The age on earth doesn’t matter. The degrees, the upbringing. All that matters is the mindset.
There are many thoughts that don’t serve us, from persistent memories that we seek to understand, to possibilities of what the future might unveil. How can we turn the past and future into positive? Through learning from past experiences and visualizing the future. This allows us to hold on to the strands of thinking that play a greater role in shaping our future.
Similarly to a clean, white floor, a clear mind gives us a sense of calm. Being in the now helps us get a sense of direction – where we are coming from and where we are going to. By choose these two coordinates we are reframing our memories and wants and needs of the future. It’s time to strip down our mind of clutter and keep only the essentials.
We may think that being positive won’t do much for us or that we are chasing butterflies in doing so. It’s true that it’s easier easier to live with negative self-talk than building-up the positive inner voice, and although the positive self-talk will take time to prove its efficiency, this will help us in all areas of life.
Imagine a blue canvas that you want to cover in yellow acrylic. It takes multiple layers of paint to no longer see the blue, multiple strokes of the brush and time in between for the paint to settle. But seeing the picture, we still get a feel of what it used to be. So the process of change isn’t just a physical process, but how we frame the new reality.
Take a look at your own canvas. There might be strokes and colors of all sorts, but if you take a step back, as the light helps blend all colors in our field of vision, what do you see? Is it time to start painting?
Cultures in which status differences are seen as the doom of relationships embrace a fixed way of thinking. The belief that two people from different backgrounds, with different education and wealth cannot mix might sound archaic, but it’s still present. It might not be as obviously exposed, but remarks such as – what if he or she gets jealous, what if you have to give up your career or all your hard work? What if you need to stop growing? These are all questions that show a fixed mindset projected on others.
Self-growth is a personal experience. Those around us can decide to join us, put us down or observe us from a distance. It might be challenging pushing forward and connecting with other people that we resonate with at a different level, but it is often necessary. We shouldn’t shy away from putting our own self-growth first and other people’s feelings about how we live our life second.
Looking around us, we see enough examples of people who settle to live in a rhythm and emotional frequency that is not sustainable, nor is it healthy. Running from one place to another, wearing themselves off and doing little to grow strong, healthy relationships. To some, this may seem like the only way further. But knowing that stress and all the negative emotions are poisonous to our bodies must be enough to encourage change.
There are different ways to experience life, and choosing kindness, generosity and good intentions makes room for growth, while envy, selfishness and negativity is detrimental to the surroundings and to the host. It can be challenging at times to see hate and answer with love, but it’s the only way in which we can protect ourselves and others as much as we can. Through fairytales we learn that dark magic costs one’s soul. Why did we ever think that letting anger or sadness in would have a different result?