All Year Round Kindness Begins Now

Being kind has great benefits in all areas of life. Before we dive in, is important to look at the source of unkindness. It can be that we don’t like a person or the way we feel around them, the fact that we had a long day or simply that we don’t have the time to be kind. But being kind is not only up to us, it is about us.

Positive Self-Talk

Building a positive relationship with ourselves and training our inner voice to lift us up reflects in our relationships with others. We tend to bring people up with us if we’re feeling good about ourselves. What’s inside us always gets out. It can be in a burst of negativity or through discreet passive aggressive remarks.

Where to Start?

Catch yourself doing in the moment when you’re being unkind to yourself and change the inner conversation.

Here are some good examples of positive self-talk:

‘I’ll get it right next time’

‘I’ve got this’

I can make it happen’

‘I’m one step closer to success’

How to Be Kind to People

Treat everyone with equal kindness – your mom, your child, your nemesis, your ex.

How? Give voice to the thoughts you’ve already practiced:

‘I’ll get it right next time’

‘I’ve got this’

I can make it happen’

‘I’m one step closer to success’

Most importantly, don’t allow yourself to like or not to like someone. All that really does is differentiating between people based on criteria that I know I never really thought about. Preserve your energy for doing good and make positive thinking a full-time commitment.

Using Social Media Positively for Your Mental Health

We often think of mental health issues as being the result of great challenges in life, but that’s not always the case. We live in a time where Western societies thrive and all the basics needs of people in developed countries are catered for.

Many of us don’t seem to have figured out what’s next after the layer of basic comfort is being covered. Throw the distractions of the online environment in the mix – news, social media, forums – and we fail to address what we can do in the present moment to look after our wellbeing.

Passive Behaviour Leads to Depression

Intentions are great when weaponized through actions. In other words, keeping ideas in your head and not going through with them is detrimental to your mental health.

Exercise stimulates the release of happy chemicals in your brain – endorphins and dopamine to name a few. So all that time you spend using social media and thinking of what you should do, how you should behave brings zero value in your life unless you actually do it.

Use social media as a trigger for what you want to achieve. You can have a glance at people who are doing well in an area of life you want to thrive in and take one good, actionable idea from them. One tiny change – 7 minutes abs, 2 minutes stretch every morning, one jog around the block – can give you a glimpse of happiness that you’ll then find the determination to maintain it. You are stronger than you think you are.

Not Having a Definite Color.

The conditions of a solitary bird are five:

The first, that it flies to the highest point;

the second, that it does not suffer for company, not even of its own kind;

the third, that it aims its beak to the skies;

the fourth, that it does not have a definite color (…)

Carlos Castaneda

Does having a fixed mindset come with more power? Not really. It comes with stronger beliefs that can be challenging to shatter. Having a ‘definite color’ means stagnating in a state of being that oftentimes is the result of other people’s beliefs.

How do we decide when we’ve reached the maximum point of self-growth?

For the average person – when they’re comfortable. And being comfortable means different things for different people.

For the seeker of meaning and the giver of kindness – never. Color changes as does perception. Being less ‘right’ doesn’t make us less of a person, but more of a human. It’s living life through different filters of thinking and of experiencing that gives us all the colors in the universe.

Being Lenient or Being Weak?

For far too long I’ve associated leadership with masculinity. A deep voice, a gaze that stops people from talking before opening their mouth and a laid back character. I might be able to achieve the three attributes, but it is unlikely that I’ll achieve them all at the same time.

Which makes me wonder: can I be me and still lead? There are a few things I can do to feel empowered, and they all rely on understanding power.

  1. Personal power is something that people can take away from you if you let them.
  2. Senses-based power is circumstantial and at times, outside of our control, hence not really a power.
  3. Personal power sits in kindness, in the good, the better selves. That power is ours and ours only.

We spend too much of our time safekeeping materialist fortunes and we allow them to define us. We are superior creatures. Our strength is in seeing ahead of ourselves and outside of ourselves. But for that we have to dig deep within. We can then see power in forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves. The gift of the present.

A deep voice, a strong gaze, a laid back character. They’re all a made-up qualities-concoction. They’re things we perceive as power generators. Personal power comes from within and it lends itself to anyone humble enough to create it.

The Enemies of Time

The time we gift people around us not just in the moment but in the entirety of our lives represents power. Power of manifesting intentions. Power to impact our lives.

Oftentimes there are punching interactions – a words exchange or non-verbal communication that express the rapport between people. And too many times those interactions make a mark on us.

We dwell in the feelings that erupt from having our own thoughts violated, taken away from us and replaced with memories of the unexpected, not justified encounter. Annoyance, anger, hatred. We might have failed to react in the moment, and although the moment is still with us, we don’t take action.

The action to stand up and give a voice to the uncomfortable need-to-have conversations.