Have you ever fantasized over someone who comes and recognizes your value and lifts above the crowd? That’s pretty much the typical hero – victim deadly duo. Being a hero means seeing people as needy, while being a victim implies waiting on someone else to take action for you. Self-belief has nothing to do with other people. It’s not about waiting around to save or be saved. It’s about being your best self, which is what any negative self-talk makes it impossible to achieve.
Being selective with the people we let into our life it’s the first gift you can give to yourself. People making you feel small or needy will never evolve, and for that reason they will never allow you to grow. We are more mindful about the influences that children are exposed to than we are about our own circle of influence, but in reality we are just as vulnerable. Once we trust someone, we unfortunately can easily allow them to override our views.
We’ve all heard the saying you got to start somewhere, to which I would add starting is better than overthinking where you start. Time spent not taking action is time wasted which might not mean much in the grand scheme of things, but you’ll probably look back at the hesitation laughing at yourself. Nothing is permanent. You can only improve once you have something to work with.
Do you ever beat yourself up before even attempting to do something new? And what does that do to your self-esteem? The ‘what if’ mindset has been passed on to us with love, but putting worse case scenario first takes away our focus from what we want to achieve. If you hear yourself wondering what if, be grateful and push forward. This means you’re walking unexplored land that guarantees growth and with enough effort, success.
Only through setting an aim can we achieve it. Otherwise, regardless if we are doing many tasks, if they don’t amount to something that we are proud of, we will spend our entire life chasing things outside us to make us happy. If you know that tomorrow you will be in a different place from where you were today, both in time and space, in the universe, would you choose where you want to be?
Our brain seeks to rationalize human behavior, forgetting that there are part of us that don’t make sense to our mind. Reactions or actions that don’t align with a script can be stigmatized. They make us feel good and in our right to point at others. And although it might always feel right, it’s never true. We are the masters of our own life. We don’t own our children, partners, friends and family. We only have what we build and are what we grow into being.