You don’t always have to wait for things to get out of hand, making it too late for you to apologize, before adjusting your behavior. Before anyone telling that you’re not honoring your best self, you’ll see signs that indicate your primitive instincts kicking in: becoming defensive, labeling people, thoughts or actions, self-pity, self-doubt. These are all signs of something new and scary/exciting. So why go through with actions that put you down and put yourself up for criticism when you can do yourself that favor? Be a fair critic and you’ll help prevent yourself from aiming down.
You have that little voice in your head that tells you rubbish. I have it also. How do you out-think it? You just focus on what you want to achieve to a point where what you are doing matters more than how you are doing. What you are doing will produce results, energy, relationships. It is the action and not the fear of it. So next time you hear that little voice inside of your head just ignore it. It’s not even worth your time. Don’t let your insecurities come in your way to success.
The planning stage is when self-doubt can sabotage any chance to act and succeed. Our mind can obsess over the possibility of failure rather than the possibility of success, making us paralyzed with fear. It is a cheap trick that keeps us trapped into our mediocrity and our comfort zone. As much as we need stability, we need growth. And growth cannot happen just by thinking about it, but it does start with the thinking mind.
For many of us, taking action is not a button that we switch on and enjoy its unlimited stream of growth. It’s the decision we make every single morning to push through, regardless of the circumstances, and give our best to materialize the idea. Thinking and acting always generate success due to the steep learning curve that cannot be replicated through passive learning. If you’re at a thinking stage and have been there for a while, start with the smallest action. Not the most grandiose action, but the one that can set a strong foundation for your project. How do you start? By doing something.
Most of us have given up on something at some point in our lives. Giving up is not memorable to the outer world because no one gets to see our work or hear about our initiatives. Ideas that materialize can bring value to the world around us, but ideas can also have a negative value. They can instill a feeling of self-defeat and guilt if we give up without taking a chance.
Re-framing our reality can help us pick up an initiative where we left it, follow through with it and succeed. Reviewing an old initiative through a fresh lens is enough to add to the story of creation.
‘I started this project two years ago, took a break and now I am back on it with a clearer view or a more mature mind’ or ‘I started this project two years ago and when I revisited it I realized that it wouldn’t have worked in that format. I now have a better understanding of how to improve it’.
There is the other side of the coin though, which allows self-doubt to make the call and await for perfection. Perfection is in the process. Allowing time to pass will not attract results unless we do work on ourselves and on what we are trying to accomplish. Giving up? What does that even mean?
Self-doubt doesn’t show out of nowhere. Whenever we are given conditions or advice which imply that we are not good enough, strong enough or smart enough to handle situations is when the door is opened for doubt to settle:
- ‘you can only go there if this person goes’
- ‘liaise with a senior member of the team to work on this’
- ‘are you sure you can manage so many projects?’
By being guarded by some sort of authority – parents, grownups, employers, professors – we give into a smaller version of ourselves. We were built for growth. I would even go as far as to say that we were built for glory. We don’t have to go to battle to have glory, what we need is constant growth that will empower us to create a greater impact in our lives, our communities and our society.
Many of us have settled into limiting mindsets before even realizing what we are doing to ourselves. But all this can be undone. Know that we can handle more than we were made to believe and that no one can take away our greatness. It’s up to us to acknowledge the damage that was done and resurrect our sense of self-confidence, self-love and our commitment to grow.
Regardless if we have children and young adults in our lives, molding people doesn’t stop with age. Walking into our first workplace, we all had to make adjustments. Maybe you were told that we laugh too laud, dress informal, speak too formal, or that your green hair doesn’t match the neutral tones of the office furniture and of the people that came with it. Or maybe you were made to feel aware of all these things.
There are situations in which people want to sculpt our identity and take away our confidence, pride, humor or just that little something that is so personal to us that it would mean taking away a big part of who we are. And they have the power of doing so, if we allow them.
How can we prevent identity loss? It takes introspection or self-reflection. The genuine nature of who we are will allow us to form honest relationships. That’s the part of who we are that we must preserve. We might be part of a group of people for a specific amount of time, but if we easily change who we are that will take away our ability to resonate with other people. Who will you resonate with if you are less of yourself and more of what others want you to be?