Being selective with the people we let into our life it’s the first gift you can give to yourself. People making you feel small or needy will never evolve, and for that reason they will never allow you to grow. We are more mindful about the influences that children are exposed to than we are about our own circle of influence, but in reality we are just as vulnerable. Once we trust someone, we unfortunately can easily allow them to override our views.
You don’t always have to wait for things to get out of hand, making it too late for you to apologize, before adjusting your behavior. Before anyone telling that you’re not honoring your best self, you’ll see signs that indicate your primitive instincts kicking in: becoming defensive, labeling people, thoughts or actions, self-pity, self-doubt. These are all signs of something new and scary/exciting. So why go through with actions that put you down and put yourself up for criticism when you can do yourself that favor? Be a fair critic and you’ll help prevent yourself from aiming down.
Only through setting an aim can we achieve it. Otherwise, regardless if we are doing many tasks, if they don’t amount to something that we are proud of, we will spend our entire life chasing things outside us to make us happy. If you know that tomorrow you will be in a different place from where you were today, both in time and space, in the universe, would you choose where you want to be?
Our brain seeks to rationalize human behavior, forgetting that there are part of us that don’t make sense to our mind. Reactions or actions that don’t align with a script can be stigmatized. They make us feel good and in our right to point at others. And although it might always feel right, it’s never true. We are the masters of our own life. We don’t own our children, partners, friends and family. We only have what we build and are what we grow into being.
Following someone else’s path it’s unlikely to help us build a genuine presence and add value into the world. Our path might seem ambushed by fallen trees, snow and broken roads, but it’s how we react to these obstacles that in turn helps us grow. If you want to be like someone else, chances are you are limiting yourself. You have so much to offer, you just have to believe in yourself and dare to take the risks.
Is growth all about taking action? It involves planning – sure. But we often tick boxes without giving ourselves time to take it in. Without looking back at what we did, even if it went well, and consciously analyzing our actions. That is a great point when criticism is useful. So today, if you have 5 minutes – give yourself time to reflect. You might experience more growth in moments than you did for a while.