Anyone Can Mold Us if We Allow Them to

Thanks to Sharon McCutcheon

Regardless if we have children and young adults in our lives, molding people doesn’t stop with age. Walking into our first workplace, we all had to make adjustments. Maybe you were told that we laugh too laud, dress informal, speak too formal, or that your green hair doesn’t match the neutral tones of the office furniture and of the people that came with it. Or maybe you were made to feel aware of all these things.

There are situations in which people want to sculpt our identity and take away our confidence, pride, humor or just that little something that is so personal to us that it would mean taking away a big part of who we are. And they have the power of doing so, if we allow them.

How can we prevent identity loss? It takes introspection or self-reflection. The genuine nature of who we are will allow us to form honest relationships. That’s the part of who we are that we must preserve. We might be part of a group of people for a specific amount of time, but if we easily change who we are that will take away our ability to resonate with other people. Who will you resonate with if you are less of yourself and more of what others want you to be?

You Have Changed

Photo by Vinicius “amnx” Amano

Does it take an instant to create change? Yes. That’s what the whole world will see. The former factory worker turned restaurant owner. The former waiter or waitress, now famous comedian. The single parent living off benefits, now successful entrepreneur. Will anyone know how much struggle, effort, discouragement and determination went into that? Chances are, not that many people.

The inner circle might see unanswered calls and missed celebrations. Skills that came naturally. Genetics that played a huge role or other types of ‘special’. Change is the definition of life and it can happen upwards or downwards. If you stop trying to maintain a flat curve, you’re missing out on the real progress you could be making. Having focus is just an excuse to learn and grow, but labels are fixed, they do not reflect the road in-between, only the end goal. So please, do, change. The world will have to bear with us.

Silently Sitting with Ourselves

Photo by dorota dylka

Are you asking yourself questions that you never really had a chance to? Where am I headed, to what purpose, how am I getting there? Am I travelling a road that I picked?

By the time we grow mature enough to make a choice we often times allow others to make decisions for us. Are we going to study different degrees, get a steady job, follow paths that other people have traveled and have failed miserably.

They are the people thinking that just because their finances didn’t work out after 40+ years in a job, things will magically be different for their grown children. The people that then recognize the frustrations and limitations of 9-5 and shrug their shoulders. And when our life falls apart we can always look at our children and think ‘They have their whole life ahead of them’.

Stressed and Confused? Only You Can Change That

Photo by Zahari Dimitrov

Does the influx of unwanted information start to take over your life? Are you trapped between worry, stress and uncertainty? Stop. Take a deep breath. Clear your thoughts. We are all faced with a choice.

As comfortable as the victim mindset makes us feel, it’s detrimental to our wellbeing. So then what can we do? If we’d see the wave coming we most likely won’t run towards it. Similarly, facing the avalanche of bad news and misinformation, what makes us think that being swamped by negativity will have the opposite effect: positivity, regeneration and growth?

To regain calm we need to anchor ourselves into a reality that we can work towards. We can envision health and prosperity and even if these ideas are being challenged at the moment, what projecting misery achieves is only making room for misery.

We may not be able to change the world around us, but we can change the world we build and we project. Let’s make the world shine with the beauty of our thoughts and the strength of our emotions.

Life at a Glance: the Positive Future

Photo by Jill Heyer

In times of austerity we cannot postpone change and choosing what’s right. What’s easy is no longer an option and giving into anger and despair is guaranteed failure.

So what can we do when we can’t change the decisions that led us here?

  1. Take a look at your environment. Tidy up the space for a clear mind.
  2. What is your ‘must’ through this challenging period? Financially, socially (the need to connect with people) and personally (self-growth).
  3. Where do you want to go?

Envisioning a bright future when the world seems to be on verge of collapsing might not be the most sensitive thing to do, but it certainly is the healthiest. We attract what we say and what we think and despite all the chaos, there is still room for our individual narrative.

The Concrete Attitude

Photo by Lovie Tey

In our urban lives we expect nature to be when and where it suits us: water in the lake, greenery in the park and plants in pots. To protect out attitude of sealing the earth in layers of concrete we’ve stripped down the ground from positives and turned it into mud.

The concrete attitude reflects our need of being in control and having security. But just as our relationship with Mother Earth got damaged, this attitude is equally detrimental in how we connect with others. It shows our inability of going through mud and washing up afterwards, or taking a jump over a puddle. Simply put, expecting things to go according to plan impacts our resilience.

If you need concrete in your life, leave room for the flowers and wild plants to emerge from the ground. A small crack can bring just enough room for growth.