Monkey Mind Essentials: Mind Your Language!

Photo by Andre Mouton

What do you see when you are looking at your reflection in the mirror? Do you see someone who will power through, step over self-enforced limitations or someone who is scared and worried? All people, regardless of their ability to push themselves forward, had points in their life of feeling insecure and defeated. What matters is what we make out of that situation.

That tingle in your hands and dryness of throat signals that something exceptional is about to happen. Something we have never experienced before. Unless there is a real threat to life, realistically our brain and body is playing up the fear of the unknown. There are different strategies to manage anxiety and the anticipation of uncertainty and I am a huge believer of positive self-talk. This on itself can be uncomfortable, but power does come from within.

Love and kindness affirmations practiced in our head or said out loud in the shower or in front of a mirror help flip the narrative of negative self-talk. Positive self-talk does not replace taking action. Positive self-talk is a device that increases our confidence and with that, our chances of moving forward.

Positive Self-Talk

Photo by Jamie Brown

You know all those negative thoughts racing through your mind? It’s time to put a stop to that. Particularly in the current climate where The Negative is feeding so many industries that are inflicting pain on us, it’s time to stop.

Replacing the negative self-talk with kindness doesn’t happen through the switch of a button, but it is possible. It firstly takes identifying that thought – I’m in trouble, I can’t make it, this is too much etc and then replacing the thought with it’s positive spin. This needs to happen repeatedly before coming close to an automatic reflex.

Every positive thought that we put into the universe and we help ourselves with is progress. When we are constantly told to be anxious, get angry and harm ourselves just through being stresses, we need to step away and rebuild our reality. Panic harms our ability to react rationally and it eliminates chemicals that damage our body. Let’s check in with ourselves and now more than ever practice positive self-talk.

Self-Pity is No One’s Friend

Photo by Bharathi Kannan

When we share disclose our challenges to someone we trust, the reaction we get doesn’t always benefit us. The classical ‘poor you’ can generate feelings of self-pity which then lead to depression. Believing that life is unjust and outside of our control leaves us no room for action.

As a generous sharer myself, it’s not always clear to me why humans choose to share the same event again and again. From a neurological point of view we can refer to the impact that the experience had on us and all the connections we kept on making post-event. But speaking about the lows of life can reflect our need for care, affection and understanding.

Reflecting love or concerns about someone can be a selfish act. It releases us from the guilt of perhaps not being present often enough in that person’s life and from a sense of duty.

But just as being in an office from 9 until 5 doesn’t mean that we’re doing a good job, so does projecting worries and victimizing our loved ones doesn’t really reflect love. All it does is generating a chain of negative reactions. Self-doubt and self-pity are often the results of misrepresented love. Don’t keep friends around who think they’re doing you a favor by taking your power away from you – the power to heal without their permission.

Quiet the Negative Voice

A person’s level of success is deeply rooted in their belief that they can or cannot achieve their goals, face their fears – that they are worthy of success.

Fear is probably one of the most dangerous manifestations of love and self-love. It isn’t the fear of getting eaten by a tiger, but the fear that you’ll say the wrong thing, the fear that your child will fall and injure themselves, the fear of failure.

I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that failure is part of the process of manufacturing success. Being afraid of failure is being afraid of succeeding.

So go ahead – twist your self-talk vocabulary into positives. Do it through replacing the word entirely. For example ‘I’m afraid’ will be ‘I’m brave’ rather than ‘I’m not afraid’ as our brains would still process this as ‘I’m afraid’.

Be brave and claim what is rightfully yours – your right to be magnificent.