Have you ever fantasized over someone who comes and recognizes your value and lifts above the crowd? That’s pretty much the typical hero – victim deadly duo. Being a hero means seeing people as needy, while being a victim implies waiting on someone else to take action for you. Self-belief has nothing to do with other people. It’s not about waiting around to save or be saved. It’s about being your best self, which is what any negative self-talk makes it impossible to achieve.
Have you ever dreamed of walking up, getting ready in 30 minutes, entering an audience of 1,000 people and delivering a candid, funny, yet meaningful speech? With some people fearing public speaking more than they fear death, it’s so much more important to consider exercise and preparation ahead of every task, big or small – but more importantly if there’s something that we’ve never done before. The first step is, in this example, to practice not just the speech, but the delivery, the room, reactions, joy and fulfillment beforehand through the power of imagination. Our brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and the product of our imagination, which is why worrying scenarios feel so real. So do yourself a favor and put yourself in positive situations by starting with what’s happening inside your mind.
We all have experienced at least one moment in life when our decision was overridden and there was nothing we could do about it. If this happened at a young age, we learnt to put up less resistance going forward up to a point when even being proper adults doesn’t change our approach towards how we treat life, decisions and things coming our way. We sometimes forget that other people made decisions that weren’t in our best interest. It was comfortable for them not to have to deal with the prospects of success or failure. Not having to bother. But nothing happens unless we take responsibility and do what’s right for us.
Have you noticed that you are mid-sentence and you repeat the same thing again and again and again? It’s not for a role you’ve practiced or a conscious decision, it’s your life and that happens. While things may happen weather you are aware of them or not, the responsibility is yours and your alone. We try to find escape, guilt trap people, put others down to feel taller. But nothing works except for real growth, accountability and action. Stop that thought and teach you’re mind who’s in charge.
We spend our formative years adopting other people’s vision of the world, as well as learning from the experiences that we are exposed to. Unavoidable limitations consist of our geography, associations, access to education, the language we speak and more. And because our parents are responsible for us at the start of our life, we might feel like that responsibility applies later and delay taking ownership of who we are and the mark we leave in the world. But trusting someone doesn’t absolve us from responsibility, nor does it represent a valid excuse for how much we choose to live. Growth is an inner journey,
Taking responsibility takes courage and a strong sense of self. It is a trait of an honorable person. But what if you’ve learnt early on that by taking responsibility you expose yourself to the vulnerability of being blamed? Blame is a negative emotion and it sits at the opposite side of the spectrum from taking responsibility. If it’s being projected on us, it reveals feeling that the other person has difficulty dealing with. By taking responsibility you can set a barrier between what matters and the void of being trapped in the past. Blame doesn’t exist in the present moment.